imma just a girl

Alhamdulillah, big thanks to Him coz now here i am.

updating my blog after quite a long time being silent.

"sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

yeah. silent.

what i'd done ?

i've done a lot of things and been through hard times.lately,i've been tested with numerous challenge.

being humiliate ...being tortured...being pressed...all of this "being" make me change.

talk less,,

eat less,,

sleep less,,

sometimes,i have a thought of  "why am i one who should face this" ,,"why now ?" ,,"if and only if i can be in his/her position..."  u don't know...how does it feel like to cry alone,,how does it feels like to keep all your story on your own,,how my heart hurt and torn,,how harsh words repeated over and over again to u....

 

 

 

life.. 

why u have to be so mean. why everything have to turn up this way??people..why u keep insulting others ??????why u keep judging without investigating the truth??? i wondered

why and why..

i blame life. 

i blame people,,LORD, i blame what U have written for me.

Astaghfrullah...

i seek forgiveness from You,,soon ,,i take a deep breath.,looking at the night sky., and i told myself that ..................................................

thanks Allah

i realised, upon all of things that happened,,i became more patient,,i became more rational,,i became to think like adult(not teenage narrow mind) ,,i started to notice that life is not always like "Barbie's Fairytale" or Korean Drama,,i started to see how people act in so many ways,,i started to know what is the best way to calm myself when "handcuff" with problems.,,i've learned that i shouldn't be too naive,,i've learned that i should think twice before commiting into anything,,i've learned that i have to pay for things that i did...